Faith, Discipline, and Identity: Navigating the Tension of Change with Jonathan Brown

On this episode of the Do You Feel Heard podcast, host Ian sits down with Jonathan "Quest" Brown from Pittsburgh, a hip-hop artist turned wellness practitioner and men's work facilitator. Quest shares the story of how he arrived at his spiritual path, some very personal experiences along the way, and practical tools for staying organized and aligned. He is open that these are his own beliefs and experiences.

Where the name "Quest" comes from

Quest got his name from his favorite childhood cartoon, Jonny Quest. He chose it when he started making music, because "life is an adventure," and later shortened it to just "Quest" when he moved into wellness work. His last music project came out in 2019, and he released a song this past October to honor his mother, who died on October 11, 2018.

A curious kid in a strict school

Quest was raised in a Catholic school from kindergarten through early high school by a mother who wanted him to have a better education. He was curious about what else was out there, and in the dial-up days he searched for everything from Buddhism to cults without telling anyone. When he moved to public school, he found a very different world, with peer pressure, trouble and a lot of exposure to the darker side of the inner city. He says he reinvented himself there, moving between social circles, as the rapper and the "nerdy guy who burned CDs and DVDs." He's grateful for the street smarts and book smarts he picked up.

A dark period and a turning point

In his 20s, Quest says, he went through an atheist phase and a very dark period during which he wasn't living in line with his values and had caused harm to others, something he says he shares because it's true, not because he's proud of it. At the low point of a divorce, he describes an experience he believes was an angel visiting him on his back porch and telling him to get his faith back, followed the next morning by a voice telling him to pray. He called churches until one pastor answered, spent months in Bible study, and was baptized on his 30th birthday. What he took from reading the Bible, he says, was learning what love is, starting with loving himself.

Loss that started a new phase

Quest's current spiritual chapter began in 2018 when his mother died suddenly of a heart attack. Three days later, he was alone in Amsterdam trying psychedelics for the first time. He says he heard his mother speaking to him the day after she passed, apologizing and wishing they'd had more time. He describes the next couple of years as an intense period of searching, with meditation, kundalini yoga and Reiki all arriving at once, along with a lot of experimentation he describes as "opening doors" that he then had to learn to close.

He also tells the story of what he believes was a visit from Jesus during that time, which he says was jokey and warm as well as overpowering. As he understands it, his mother sent the visitor to keep him on a path that was truly his. He recognizes that others may be skeptical, and says he has been slow to share these stories publicly.

Ian listens with curiosity and says he appreciates the openness. Both men describe a similar view of religion: the world's traditions are "feathers from the same bird," and where they overlap, there's likely something real. Quest calls Christianity his foundation while taking what helps from many paths, and mentions karma as one of the shared themes.

From grief to purpose

Quest says that when the world shut down in 2020, he found an online community of people doing similar inner work, and learned that there is a "sacred way" of approaching plant medicines, with preparation and integration, as opposed to a purely recreational one. After about three or four years, he realized that his mother's death had shown him his purpose: helping others find alignment through whatever tool serves them, whether that's sound, Reiki, coaching or something else.

Note: Quest's work includes ceremonies with plant medicines and psychedelics. Those substances are illegal or restricted in many places, carry real risks, and aren't right for everyone. This post doesn't recommend them.

Why preparation and integration matter

Ian and Quest agree that there is far more to this work than the ceremony itself. Quest says preparation is as important as integration, and that a person who has built a "toolkit" ahead of time, such as guided meditation, somatic work or parts work, will be better able to handle whatever comes up. In his view, treating a ceremony as a one-off event with no preparation and no integration afterwards sets people up for a harder time. Ian adds that realizations only last if you start applying them to your life.

Men's work and "The Crossing"

Quest says he avoided men's work for a long time because he grew up around women and didn't want to be "that men's work guy," until he got a nudge to go back to the guys. He hosted an online men's circle every Tuesday for about two and a half years, and says the group held space for him when his father died. His new offering, "The Crossing," is a six-month initiation for a small group of eight men, with weekly online meetings, an in-person retreat in the fifth month and a final month focused on integration. He describes it as inspired by the hero's journey and as a way to bring out "the man we all feel inside."

Ian says what resonates most with him is the permission for men to be vulnerable: "one of the most healing things we can do is be weak in front of each other" in a safe place, in a culture that teaches men to be stoic. You can find Quest's website and Instagram in the original episode's description.

Practical tools for finishing what you start

Ian asks about a challenge many listeners share: starting lots of things and finishing few. Quest says he tends to jump from one new interest to the next, and has had to learn structure. His tips:

• Reframe discipline as devotion. Discipline carried a negative association for him, so he treats it as devotion to himself.
• Use a calendar and time blocking, and then hold yourself accountable to what's on it.
• Run your life in sprints. Borrowing from his years working in tech, he plans in one- or two-week sprints.
• Try body doubling. Work alongside someone, on a video call or in person, who is also working. You're not chatting, just sharing the same space for accountability. Ian said he hadn't heard of it and planned to try it.

Getting back in line with how you want to live

Asked how someone who knows they're not living in alignment can find their way, Quest says there isn't a single way. His suggestions:

• Talk to someone who doesn't know you well, such as a therapist or a community circle.
• Be honest with yourself about what you want. Try saying it to yourself in a mirror.
• Find an outlet that feels good, like art, journaling or automatic writing.

He adds that he doesn't see the darkness in himself as something to cut out. For him it's about balance between light and dark, since both matter. Ian agrees and compares it to a grandfather clock's pendulum: the aim is to get as close to center as you can.

What Quest wants everyone to know

Asked what he'd tell everyone at once, Quest talks about parenthood. He is a father of two and says children are teachers, and that we can learn a great deal from them. Ian adds a thought about imagination: when a child says they want to go to the moon, don't shut it down. Encourage it and ask how they'll get there, because adults can reconnect with that playful, boundless imagination too. As Ian puts it, in his view the only real limit is mindset, and parents who unintentionally squash a child's imagination can end up limiting what that child believes is possible.

Ian hopes to have Quest back for a conversation on conscious parenting, and for a follow-up on topics they didn't get to, like past lives.